Control Thy Pen!

I find that when I am upset (or anything to the extent of feeling negative) or lying in bed, my writing flows much more easily.  This is, as you can probably guess, problematic.  I am reminded of the famous poets that found their pens at work most after a heartbreak, death, or deep realization (for the worse).  Well, I do not want to have my best friend die, nor do I want to have to experience teen angst after my boyfriend gets tired of me to be able to write well.  At the same time, I often find myself writing poems or "eloquent" writing when doing the most inconvenient things - sleeping (almost), driving, showering, exercising, etc.  Why does my mind feel the need to punish me so?  Certainly I could pull over in the middle of the freeway, pull out my pen and pad, and write away.  Downside?  What good use would the writing be if an angry hitchhiker kills me soon after?  Exactly.

Don't get me wrong - to say that I cannot write on a regular basis would be a terrible mistake.  It is, however, common knowledge that many people find inspiration in feelings - usually of the extreme ends.  Let's be honest, how many people do you know that sit down after a regular day and write their best piece of writing?  I can guarantee you that those people are basing whatever writing they are coming out with on previous thoughts or emotions.  I am taught and told almost everyday that creativity flows through everyone on a daily basis.  But how do we control such a wild force?  It is apparent that in life, some are able to utilize and wield their creativity in both different ways and different increments, but how are we able to increase our various creative ways and the amount which is available to us?  Can I simply say with assurance in my voice, "Creativity, I beckon you!"  I'm going to have to say "nay" to that suggestion.  I know it's not like a piece of meat in which I can choose my exact cut, flavor, and amount, but to say creativity is uniform would not only be preposterous, but also "sinful" in nature.   I wish I could just disregard such questions, but I cannot.  Writing is who I am.  My very being.  The words flow through my veins.  They pump my heart and fuel my body's every action.  That's it, isn't it?  My "many ways" of being creative...is writing.  And then some, of course.  Theatre.  Music.  Art...not.  I will not say that my brain will not waste any more time on such a silly question as, "How may I manipulate creativity to be nicer to me?", but I will appreciate the wonderful gifts I have grown to think of as an innate part of myself.